Annual Prognistication

As many of you know, Groundhogs Day is a big tradition here, for many reasons. Not the least of which is that it's a testament to the indomitable American spirit that for one day we ignore all empirical weather data and rely solely on the intelligence and apparent pupil dilation of a small marmot.

Here is this years prediction:

Here Ye! Here Ye! Here Ye!

On Gobbler's Knob on this fabulous Groundhog Day, February 2nd, 2008
Punxsutawney Phil, the Seer of Seers, Prognosticator of all Prognosticators,
Rose to the call of President Bill Cooper and greeted his handlers, Ben Hughes and John Griffiths.

After casting a weathered eye toward thousands of his faithful followers,
Phil consulted with President Cooper and directed him to the appropriate scroll, which proclaimed:

"As I look around me, a bright sky I see, and a shadow beside me.
Six more weeks of winter it will be!"

....and here are some photos from this years event in Punxatawney.

Crazy Fans



Crazy Crowds


Crazy Marmot


As a Penn State Alumn, I must insist that you accept no substitutes. Punxatawney Phil is THE only furry four legged creature with this divine meteorological intuition.

Christmas Albums

I'll admit, nothing gets me in the holiday mood like a good Nat King Cole standard.

One thing that I miss during these hectic holidays of the digital era?
Records, real vinyl LPs, with various christmas cover art, strewn across the living room floor in front of the Hi-Fi.

There are so very few holiday songs, that many simply become variations on a theme. Not all of the records, therefor can be winners, like Nat King Cole's Christmas Song.

A few christmas albums stand out for shear desperation alone. Those tied to TV shows, or merchandising like the Brady Christmas debacle, or The Chipmunks. (my ears are ringing from the memory of it)

But here are a few albums that I can't quite remember being in the pile of Christmas platters.

Christmas With Colonel Sanders
aka "A Finger Lickin' Christmas"


The Year Without Santa Claus, by Carol Channing
Her voice... really melts all those tensions away after a crazy day at the mall.



A Star Wars Christmas
Attempts to answer that age old question: "What can you get a Wookie for Christmas?"



And of course, Liberace is a walking snow angel on the cover of his "Twas the Night Before Christmas.



I'm sure if we did have these albums, we would've worn the grooves right down from overplaying them....

....or they would have just melted because someone (who shall remain nameless) left them too close the fireplace.

Co-opted Yuletide

Is nothing sacred?

It's widely known that the holiday advertising blitzkrieg started early this year. We put our DVR on alert to eliminate any commercials that have glitter, bells, holly, turtle-necks, or Kay jewelry. I'm wondering if I need to reinforce the mailbox to support the incoming onslaught of un-recyclable glossy catalogs.

I suppose in the American Holiday season, there are not enough secular icons of celebration. In order to "sell the spirit" to all mankind, without isolating anyones beliefs, advertisers have to dig deep.*

There are a few things that I think should be off limits to those "Fat Cats of Madison Avenue" this holiday season.

1. You are not allowed to bastardize any portion of A Christmas Story.
(I'm looking in your general direction AT&T, formerly Cingular)
I don't care if you are selling Italian leg lamps with fishnet stockings, or pink fuzzy-bunny one-piece jam-jams. This John Shepherd tale is off-limits to any crass commercialism.**

2. Nothing that even looks remotely similar to a Rankin/Bass animation can be used.
(This means you, annoying Aflac duck)
Not only is this a travesty, but it's just too easy. Did you phone that one in?

A few items, however, have exceeded the Statute of Limitations for advertising appropriations:

1. A Christmas Carol
Have your sinister way with this dusty old rag. Just be warned, she's been around the block a few times.

2. It's A Wonderful Life
Although I am a big fan of Frank Capra's work, it reached market saturation in the mid-eighties. That was about the same time Ted Turner airbrushed it like a little girl smearing lipstick on her dolls, so unfortunately it's too far gone to save. (That's not to say that I would ever miss the George Bailey 5k this year.)

*After all, the only images they have is a type-2 diabetic in a red suit, butchered pine trees being used as fire-traps, smelly socks filled with half-melted candies, sub-orbit, antlered, freight-hauling caribou (I hear one even has nasal rosacea), candles, wreaths... anyway-what I'm saying is that they really are at a loss for secular icons. Give them a break.
**By the way, the house where this was filmed in Cleveland is now a museum.