Who Has The Time?

I am a movie buff. I love old movies and have a pretty good collection.*
But let's all be honest... who can sit through a 110 minute movie these days?
What, with all that Restless Leg Syndrome (RLS) going around.

Here are some brilliant 5 second versions of movies. There's a whole list of them. I'll just post my favorites below:

Princess Bride


Harry Potter (All of them)


Titanic


Fargo


Monty Python and the Holy Grail


Rocky 1,2,3,4,5,6...


Warning: The following clip contains a few descriptive words which may not be cubicle safe.
Although, If you've already scrolled down this far, it's far more likely that the concept of employment escapes you anyway, so go ahead... click away.

The Big Lebowski


Each of these clips is probably 1 second longer than the pitch was to the producers.

*Anyone willing to challenge in TCM Scene It or Trivial Pursuit Silver Screen Edition... Bring it!

Our New Album

Here's is a pre-release of the cover art of our band's new album.




Ok I'm joking. I don't have a sitar band named "Silat Bongsu", and we don't have an album called "Oppression Can Only Survive Through Silence", and I don't even know who this guy is. (although he seems like an interesting bloke)

But, if you ever wondered how artists come up with album covers, here's a good example:

Get the name of your band here.

Get the name of your album here.

And get the album cover art here.

(Edit) Clarification: Every time you click on one of these links you get a random wiki, quote, or photo set. No, I'm not sending you to some obscure wikipedia page.

Life with Rem.... wait, where's Rem?

I can't tell if this movie was a recruitment tool for prospective (...) or what.
It's still kind of interesting to watch.

The first young woman that they interview is speaking in Dutch.
(I think, although it sounds alot like my attempt at conversational German)



"Ok people! I want everyone to look busy while the camera crew is here! Everybody- look REALLY interested in your jobs."

Don't worry, I'm sure Rem is just camera shy... right?

Besides, I'm sure they don't want to raise a young hipster's hopes by allowing them to think that working for Rem means working with Rem.
I applaud their honesty.

Webernet - "What Hath God Wrought" Edition

With all of the crazy wind and rain across the country in the past few days, I thought I'd post some other strange finds, in hopes that it might keep your minds off that tree laying across your front yard:

Disclaimer: all of these links are "Cubical Safe" and shouldn't open to screaming zombies (unless specifically noted)

Moscow's Crystal Island

These people are kidding, right? This is a big hoax... haha, funny renderings of the worlds largest building, has it's own ecosystem... yuk-yuk.... no?
The program of this behemoth has been trimmed down to a lean 27 million square feet, or four-times the size of the pentagon

Plush Toys That Look Like Road Kill

Honestly, this is what happens to most plush toys that our hound dogs get ahold of anyway.
Only instead of intestines, it's a steady spray of polyester fiber all over the house.

Nastiest Fish in The World

I think we hold fish to too high of a standard these days, in this world where we promote skinny, lean fish, free of lesions, and with only two eyes. They grow up aspiring to an unhealthy body image. Not every fish can be a rainbow fish. It's what's on the inside that counts.
Ok, I just grossed myself out.

Tokyo Traffic Control Center

All of that back-lit, flashy, LED goodness, just to say:
"Uhh, yeah, you can't get there from here."


19th Century Neurosurgical Tool Set

Let me just remind you, that means "brain surgery" as you peruse the various saws, augers, pry-bars and ball-peen hammers in this carefully maintained set.

Trajan at the Movies

A funny movie about what happens when a good typeset goes bad.

Xerox and the Ubiquitous Web 2.0 Logo

Well, it was inevitable.
It was exactly two years ago that Kodak announced changes to it's logo at the CES show.


I'm sure the marketing executives will give you plenty of new speak about "restructuring", and "minimizing footprints", and "synergizing backward overflow", but the fact remains, this is what has come of the old photo-repro business:




Yesterday Xerox announced it's new logo, complete with the shiny reflection and transparency of a freshly licked lollipop. This is, after all, a brave new web 2.0 world, where everything is shiny and glossy, and pushed to your blackberry, or trio (yes and your iPhone, Richy Rich).



The Times has an article about the history of the Xerox Logo.

Is your marketing department feeling a foreboding sense that it's getting harder to keep up with the kids these days?

Does your company look in it's proverbial mirror and count the liver spots?

What you need is a web 2.0 upgrade!

A little glossy logo always helps to stave off the infection of creeping irrelevance.

And it is easier to manage than you might think!

Here is a tutorial, complete with a downloadable plugin, which allows you to "lick" your logo into the 21st century.

Here are some funny mash-ups of old-century logos given a new-century treatment. Designers originally submitted these to the YayHooray forums, and they were salvaged before the website was shut down.


The old Philip Morris Logo


The new and improved Philip Morris logo.

Some others:






Again, these are not real, no calls please.

Building a brand is an arduous and long-term process, and redesigning an identity is usually seen as a last ditch effort on the part of an aging corporation to cling to the walls of Fortune's top (insert number here). Just ask any Detroit automobile manufacturer.

Who knows, maybe these print companies, like the music industry, aren't simply "glossing over" their dismal situation, (ehem) and maybe they are just that genuinely optimistic about their futures.

I for one still like the old Haloid logo

My Contribution to Annual Top-Ten Lists

I didn't want to be left out of all the list-making going at the end of one year and the beginning of the next.

The year of 2007 brought us some unbelievably inane objects, which blended technology, entertainment, and good old fashioned kitsch. I need to clarify that all of these products are real, and available to purchase. I make no assertions as to their market value or ability to improve your "quality of life".
I'm going to put the links to the products below, but be aware, many of them are not in english and are subject to redirection.

Without further ado, here's my list of

The Worst Tech Gadgets of 2007

#10 Celular Jewelry


Because having a cel phone that cries out your affinity for Fergie's "lovely lady lumps" whenever someone beckons, just isn't annoying enough. Now there is jewelry that will flash and light up letting the world know you are important enough to have a phone call.


#9 Touch-less Paper Towel Dispener


Yes, we are just THAT lazy.


#8 Weather Forecasting Umbrella


I'm going way out on a limb here, but I'm guessing that if you have your umbrella open, you probably already know what the weather is like.


#7 USB Putt Returner


There really is no end to what we can power with the 5 volts that comes out of the USB ports of our computers.


#6 Toshiba Wearable Home Theatre


If you don't have the neck and shoulder muscles of Hulk Hogan, you WILL after watching a movie under this monstrosity. Imagine spending enough time under this thing to watch, say... Lord of the Rings, whew. And yes, I do think that is Jeff Goldblum under that thing.


#5a Toilet Tunes




#5b iPod Toilet Paper Dispenser


This is really a two-way tie. Both of these products will ensure that you don't go a spare minute without your Lynyrd Skynard.


#4 Potty Putter


I was so amazed at this offer, I had to force myself to stop dialing and put the phone down. I mean, it comes with a free "Do Not Disturb" sign!


#3 USB Humping Dogs


All good taste aside, I'm really disappointed that the designers of this gem missed such an incredible opportunity. These could have been designed as flash drives that acted upon the data being transferred over the USB. Talk about "Special Delivery"! Instead, they really serve no purpose other than to defile your laptop through it's USB port.


#2 Virtual Bubble Wrap


I am a huge fan of bubble-wrap. I squish it, step on it, roll on it... wrap myself in it and jump off tall buildings... but the best is simply to pop one bubble every 45 seconds or so, while in the vicinity of someone with a nervous tick. This might be just the device to cure that craving. Imagine being able to pop-pop-pop without ever having to ship or receive any packages.


And the award for the most intrusive use of technology goes to.....



#1 Nabaztag
This creepy little appliance has jumped straight out of an incomprehensible japanese kids cartoon and onto your desktop. It's the perfect loud-mouth accessory for the privacy-optional generation. It Moves! It Lights Up! It Wiggles Its Ears! All to tell you that you have email, or someone "dugg" your Myspace.


USB Humping Dog
iPod Toilet Paper Dispenser
USB Put Returner
Cellular Jewelry
Touchless Paper Towel Dispenser
Weather Forecasting Umbrella
Puchi Puchi
Potty Putter
Toilet Tunes
Nabaztag

Architectural Competitions for Winter 2008

USA Newest to Oldest

Flip A Strip
Competition submission deadline: March 31, 2008
Launches Jan 5th. An architectural design competition and exhibition at The Scottsdale Museum of Contemporary Art which will challenge architects to dream up ways in which to adapt, re-vamp and/or renovate small-scale strip shopping plazas that seem to be dotting all of our metro & suburban landscapes these days. Open to all architects in the U.S. who have been practicing professionally for at least 5 years.
Link

Temporary Outdoor Gallery Space - Art City Austin 2008
Deadline for Registration is February 22, 2008
Art Alliance Austin in collaboration with the Austin Chapter of the American Institute of Architects, AIA-Austin, is launching an ideas competition to design Temporary Outdoor Gallery Spaces (TOGS). Any architecture or interior design professional/student who has completed their education within 10 years of the competition announcement is eligible. Student applicants must be in their final year of architecture/interior design school or enrolled in an architecture/interior design graduate program. A two-person team collaboration is allowed however, one member of the team must meet the above criteria. Limit of one entry per person or team.
Link

Young Architects Forum 2008: Resonance
Competition Deadline February 11, 2008
Young architects and designers are invited to submit work to the Architectural League's annual Young Architects Competition. This year's theme, Resonance, posits that architecture is a profession of ideas. Choice, agenda, and a means both to respond to problems and project solutions are key to professional vitality and progress. But how do architectural ideas resonate beyond professional boundaries? What are the means by which an architect's ideas/acts take effect? The committee calls not for demonstrations of instrumental capacity, but for ideas, implemented or not, that leverage that capacity creatively and proactively in the world.
Link

2008 Steedman Traveling Fellowship Competition
The registration deadline is Jan. 29, 2008.
Granted since 1925, the biennial Steedman Fellowship is open to citizens of all countries with not more than eight years of experience following receipt of a professional degree in architecture. The competition carries a $30,000 first place award to support study and research abroad - the largest such award in the United States.
Link

The 99k House Competition for an Affordable, Sustainable House Prototype
Deadline for submissions is January 14, 2008.
The Rice Design Alliance (RDA) and AIA Houston announce a two-stage national competition to design a sustainable, affordable house that addresses the needs of the low-income family in the Gulf Coast region. The competition objectives are to
* Broaden awareness of green building strategies applicable to affordable housing,
* Generate and publicize buildable examples of sustainable, affordable houses, and
* Construct an exemplary sustainable, affordable house prototype.
The competition challenges designers and architects to design a sustainable, affordable house. Special consideration should be given to affordability, longevity, energy savings benefits, and appropriateness for the hot, humid climate of Houston. The City of Houston has donated a site for the house through the Land Assemblage Redevelopment Authority (LARA) initiative. The lot is located in Houston's historic Fifth Ward, a residential area east of downtown. The competition is a two-stage project to be completed in 2008
Link

International Newest to Oldest

Espoo City Hall Ideas Competition
Competition runs to end March 2008
To commemorate the 550th anniversary of Espoo, an international architecture competition is being held for the renovation of City Hall and an adjoining office complex. The languages of the competition are Finnish and English. The competition area is City Hall and its environs, but the entire adjoining office complex and its border areas will be studied. The results of the competition will be published in the summer of 2008.
Link

International Spatial Design Competition for the Mobility Centre Project in Ferizaj/Urosevac
Competition period ends 17 March 2008
In Ferizaj/Urosevac Municipality, is an urgent need for stimulating economic development and attracting investors/businesses, commercial and industrial activities generating opportunities for employment and above all re-exploiting the railway as a catalyst for economic growth. In the Municipality, the concept of a "Mobility Centre Project" which integrates the railway station and inter-city/international bus terminal was raised and discussed with a view of creating a main transport hub. The Municipality of Ferizaj/Urosevac has proposed an "International Spatial Design Competition" as a means to achieving the Mobility Centre Project. UN-HABITAT Kosovo is co-funding the project and will support the competition throughout the process. The competition is organized with a view to explore pragmatic and sustainable improvement measures to be reflected in the "Urban Charter of Ferizaj/Urosevac City Centre".
Link

New Library and Theatre/Concert Hall in the City of Bodo
Registration Deadline 22nd Feb 2008
Open idea competition for a new library, concert hall and theatre etc. in the centre of Bodø. The total floor area is approx. 11,700 m2. The building volume is approx. 70,000 m3. There are three alternative locations for the arts buildings. The idea competition aims to clarify the location, the main idea for the building form and volumes, and the design of the outside areas.
Link

10th Arquine International Architecture Competition -The bicentennial towers
Registration Period to February 4th, 2008.
Thirty years on from the publication of Delirious New York, Rem Koolhaas's manifesto celebrating congestion culture, at the peak of the high building craze in most of the world, and moving on from post 9-11 panic, Arquine announces its 10th International Competition, proposing the design of two skyscrapers, with 100 floors each, to celebrate the bicentenary of Mexico's independence in 2010. The project consists in setting each tower in two strategic areas of Mexico City: the Azcapotzalco Technology Park and the Xochimilco Ecology Park, establishing a dialectic between content and void; between built object and urban landscape. The competition invites you to embark on the projects with two relevant discourses in mind: ecology and technology, true paradigms of early 21st-century culture.
Link

Architectural competition for the extension of the Kunsthaus Zürich
The application deadline is 1 February 2008
The Zürcher Kunstgesellschaft, the Stiftung Zürcher Kunsthaus and the City of Zurich announce an international architectural competition for the Kunsthaus extension. Architects are invited to apply for the pre-qualification round. The project, of signal importance to Zurich's urban planning in this area, will be located between Heimplatz and the old Cantonal School, both immediately adjacient to Zurich's old town. The project is part of Zurich's University District master plan, which aims to create an appealing "education and culture zone". Its starting point, the square known as Heimplatz, will in the process be better defined and upgraded. A public "art garden" forms an additional element of the competition brief; from there, a series of park-like areas will evolve along the edge of the slope below the ETH (Swiss Federal Institute of Technology, Zurich).
Link

Got a competition you want listed?
email me
Next competition update is April 1