My Contribution to Annual Top-Ten Lists

I didn't want to be left out of all the list-making going at the end of one year and the beginning of the next.

The year of 2007 brought us some unbelievably inane objects, which blended technology, entertainment, and good old fashioned kitsch. I need to clarify that all of these products are real, and available to purchase. I make no assertions as to their market value or ability to improve your "quality of life".
I'm going to put the links to the products below, but be aware, many of them are not in english and are subject to redirection.

Without further ado, here's my list of

The Worst Tech Gadgets of 2007

#10 Celular Jewelry


Because having a cel phone that cries out your affinity for Fergie's "lovely lady lumps" whenever someone beckons, just isn't annoying enough. Now there is jewelry that will flash and light up letting the world know you are important enough to have a phone call.


#9 Touch-less Paper Towel Dispener


Yes, we are just THAT lazy.


#8 Weather Forecasting Umbrella


I'm going way out on a limb here, but I'm guessing that if you have your umbrella open, you probably already know what the weather is like.


#7 USB Putt Returner


There really is no end to what we can power with the 5 volts that comes out of the USB ports of our computers.


#6 Toshiba Wearable Home Theatre


If you don't have the neck and shoulder muscles of Hulk Hogan, you WILL after watching a movie under this monstrosity. Imagine spending enough time under this thing to watch, say... Lord of the Rings, whew. And yes, I do think that is Jeff Goldblum under that thing.


#5a Toilet Tunes




#5b iPod Toilet Paper Dispenser


This is really a two-way tie. Both of these products will ensure that you don't go a spare minute without your Lynyrd Skynard.


#4 Potty Putter


I was so amazed at this offer, I had to force myself to stop dialing and put the phone down. I mean, it comes with a free "Do Not Disturb" sign!


#3 USB Humping Dogs


All good taste aside, I'm really disappointed that the designers of this gem missed such an incredible opportunity. These could have been designed as flash drives that acted upon the data being transferred over the USB. Talk about "Special Delivery"! Instead, they really serve no purpose other than to defile your laptop through it's USB port.


#2 Virtual Bubble Wrap


I am a huge fan of bubble-wrap. I squish it, step on it, roll on it... wrap myself in it and jump off tall buildings... but the best is simply to pop one bubble every 45 seconds or so, while in the vicinity of someone with a nervous tick. This might be just the device to cure that craving. Imagine being able to pop-pop-pop without ever having to ship or receive any packages.


And the award for the most intrusive use of technology goes to.....



#1 Nabaztag
This creepy little appliance has jumped straight out of an incomprehensible japanese kids cartoon and onto your desktop. It's the perfect loud-mouth accessory for the privacy-optional generation. It Moves! It Lights Up! It Wiggles Its Ears! All to tell you that you have email, or someone "dugg" your Myspace.


USB Humping Dog
iPod Toilet Paper Dispenser
USB Put Returner
Cellular Jewelry
Touchless Paper Towel Dispenser
Weather Forecasting Umbrella
Puchi Puchi
Potty Putter
Toilet Tunes
Nabaztag